A Bad Day Feels Inescapable

This one is for the days you feel like there’s an inescapable dark cloud above you and no matter what you do your mind gets in the way via your inner dialogue “Today is going to be awful” or the most popular “Today is just not your day” blah blah! insert any other negative crap.

Anyway, back to our regularly scheduled time of despair and hopelessness. These ‘bad’ days are common and frequently triggered by an anchoring thought, and it puts us in a state of mind that solidifies our day to look like an impending doom or (if you prefer) a huge shit-storm waiting to unfold.

Why Does a Bad Day Happen?

Evolutionary Psychology says it is a result of our ‘survival instinct’ developed over millennia, which requires us to think of the worst-case scenarios, avoid predators, and stay away from dangerous situations, alternatively finding a safe haven with abundant resources. What do I know, I’m not an ‘Evolutionary Psychologist’.

But, could it be that simple? And if we are ‘evolutionarily’ meant to feel this way, how do you not just say “I’m fucked!”? Is there any escape?

“Is he just going to be talking about how bad these bad days are?” Relax!
Here’s the medicine!

The Monkey Wrench

A Classic Monkey Wrench

A ‘Monkey Wrench’ or ‘throwing a monkey wrench into the mix’ is long known as the act of doing something that prevents a plan or activity from succeeding. Imagine seeing a well-oiled efficient machine functioning perfectly and you decide to go “screw it!” and throw the tool (pictured above) into it, thereby deeming it ‘broken’ or as my boss would say “You fucked it”.

Note: throwing an actual wrench into your office printer is not recommended. Trust me, IT will not accept “I was trying to fix my bad day” as a valid excuse.

In this particular situation, we will refer to it as throwing in an unpredictable piece (a thought or an action) to break our negative thinking pattern. This idea works for anything from fixing a boring day to a bad day or even a negative one. As an example (we will take the context of a negative day to keep things simple), something as simple as cutting 70% of things off your to-do list for the day (trust me, procrastinating on them a day more will not make a huge difference).

Instead, we add one unconventional thing to the day that we would not normally do. As an example, when I had a bad day and it all felt hopeless, I kicked most things off my to-do list and flipped the rhythm by messaging the closest people to me in my life with (honest) things I’ve always wanted to tell them. Sounds odd to be doing it out of nowhere, right? I know, they felt the same but nonetheless, it helped both me and them.

Disclaimer: Results may vary. Side effects may include confused responses and occasional “Are you drunk?” messages. Best performed when completely sober—or at least appearing to be.

The Monkey Wrench does not have to be something catastrophically big to change your day’s rhythm – a different beverage (I recommend trying a Vietnamese Iced Coffee), signing up for an activity you have never done before, or even as small as listening to songs you would not otherwise listen to works!

Gratitude

“Oh no, not again with the GRATITUDE stuff!” Okay okay, hear me out and if you feel like skipping through this section after reading the next few lines, feel free to skip!

This is not about being kind to yourself and thanking God or any higher power you believe in for everything you’ve got (although that’s known to help). This one is about being grateful to yourself.

The fact that YOU know what it has taken to get to where you are, makes you your biggest cheerleader. All it takes is to say “thank you” to yourself. It may not seem like much, but one ‘thank you’ to yourself every day changes the relationship you have with yourself dramatically.

Purchase Therapy

Now we’re on to the good stuff, yeah! As much as it may sound counter-intuitive, no one can deny that purchasing a thing gives you happiness like no other! Of course, it’s different for everyone: Fashionistas love their clothes and shoes, Tinkerers are just ecstatic about new tools and technologies and I love food.

It really depends on what tickles your pickle 😉 In all of these choices, the underlying theme remains the same, buying something.

Remember: It’s not impulse buying if I stare at it for 3 hours first, right? This is what we call “strategic decision-making.”

“But hasn’t everyone always told us to not buy stuff?” Yes, and that’s because there’s a good and bad side to it. With the few guidelines below you will be able to shave off the bad stuff and not feel guilty about making a purchase to give your day and mood a boost!

• Decide on a budget – a good rule of thumb is to spend an amount that does not feel like a hole in your pocket so you can do this multiple times a month.
• Buy things you like – this is important because we tend to buy things we ‘need’ instead, let’s not confuse the two, this is an indulgence purchase, INDULGE!
• Get earplugs! Everyone around us always wants to have a say in what’s right and wrong when they don’t even know it, don’t listen, buying one thing is unlikely to make you a Shop-a-Holic.
• Eliminate guilt – Lose the guilt, enjoy this moment – chances are in 10 years this tiny purchase won’t even be a speck of what you think about.

Get Out of Your Head and Get Into Your Body

This works 100% of the time, especially if you like any form of exercise be it walking, running, swimming or even as extreme as mixed martial arts! It’s easy to get in over your head on bad days, the inner dialogue is killing you, your body seems to reject everything you ask it to do and there’s just an overall feeling of fatigue. Exercising takes a fair amount of focus, which takes away focus from your over-thinking.

Brain: Let’s solve all life’s problems!
Body: Can we just focus on not dying during this burpee?
Brain: But what about that embarrassing thing from 2007?
Body: SERIOUSLY, WE’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING HERE!

In times like these, it’s best to get out of your head and get into your body. Believe it or not, exercise is also a form of meditation, and seems to always have a calming effect on our mind – the less we think on these days, the better.

Final Thoughts

Don’t let bad days be bad. Using the above tools I’ve noticed a significant improvement in mood and overall effectiveness of the day. Some bad days turn out to be the best days (if not the most memorable).

When you realize that fixing a bad day is not totally out of your control, you feel powerful and you do have what it takes to fix it. One step at a time.

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